不诉离殇

Goodbye My Love About three months ago I began to write the series of journal “goodbye my love”. It didn’t come to a conclusion until now. I hopelessly fell in love with him during that unforgettable climbing the Pointy Peak Mountain which I will cherish for my whole lifelong, I swear. It’s such an unimaginable as well as magic emotion, the equal of which I hadn’t experienced before all my short 19-years-life. Such a feeling, far beyond any description I can find. When standing beside him I felt myself like a stray bird who finally finds the place the place she belongs to. His tall and straight stature gave me a sense of stability and god knows how I wish I could stay around him, gently embrace him, lean my head on him, just once more, just like that marvelous night. His lips and chin have a gentle firmness, so delicate and lovely. Each time he walking towards me, with the enchanting smile on his face, it seems springtime is coming alive to me. My love is humble, I keep it and treasure it just like a fragile china, I know it’s easily got broken and once it does, there is no way for it to be repaired or regained, and I know it is dangerous and can be acute to me as well, at the very beginning. Yet I let it go, I simply can’t bury my romance straight away since it is still budding, it is this love that sustained me unfailingly during the past term. If I am allowed to use only a single word to describe my love, I would say: bittersweet. Just like the coffee he once offered me. Its sweetness is obvious and known to all. It’s a great fortune for one to love and to be loved. Though he never said he loves me or likes me or anything of the kind, I never get regretted about myself. Like Tagore once said: life has become richer by the love that has been lost. He repeated my status in his heart to me again, yes I know, with a broken heart. Better to let me know where I stand rather than leave me in limbo. What shall I do next? I have been used to sending him messages and emails, I can hardly imagine what my life would be without him, and for all along I try my best not to think about that. But it finally arrived. Andy, I can’t love you anymore, any longer. I sincerely want to be closer to you but you push me further away. The year 2006 is leaving us, and a new year is on its way. There should be some differences. Here, now, I say to you my Andy, I love you. Love you much more than I can say, love you far more than you can ever imagine. There won’t be any more certain moment for me to say aloud this love for sure, this love, such a love, can’t be deeper and sincerer in my life, now and forever. Goodbye my love, goodbye my dearest Andy, goodbye 2006!