不诉离殇

I’ve been awoke for the whole last night ,from dark till dawn, and had tears filled in my eyes with sorrow. I am making a harsh decision and try my best to get through it. But it seems turned out to be all in vain, I just hopelessly lost myself ,once the rational and mature young lady, papa and mama’s lovely girl, a five “A”’ s hard-working excellent student,I can’t find the way back.

As early as I came to this world, I ’ve been bathed in my parents and my teachers and all my seniors’ love, concern ,I am always supposed to be the top among my classmates and competitors, I  observe the rules and regulations every minute.and I’ve tried my best .

Once when I still was in junior school at age 14, a boy in grade one aged 13 wrote me a letters to say “I love you”, by then we grade two students were busy preparing for the senior school entrance test. I knew him, a little shy but sincere handsome boy but I also knew clearly that I simply can’t make friend with him ’cause it was time consuming and would certainly put me off my study, and my mama will be undoubtedly disappointed to me . I can’t let her down, I should concentrate myself and pass the examination with flying colors. At last I made it. At the cost of losing a true pure love forever.(but I am not quite sure if it is really “love” ,maybe just appreciate and like, yeah , today when in retrospect it seems we ’ve been merely good friends.)

 There won’be such kind of emotion anymore anytime anywhere. I never told my parents about this. There are always something in life to be forgot, something to be remembered , only belong to myself, bitter or sweet, deep in my heart, never forget, forever treasure.

Now it has been five years passed. I ’ve grown up to a 19 years  young lady. During the five years I missed him sometimes but I prefer to keep it as my romantic story in my memory which can be told to my girl or my boy some twenty years later. Beautiful things never dies.

I never have got such a strange and fantastic feeling right now. I don’t know how it occurs to me exactly, but I ’m sure it’s not the“fall in love at the first sight” type . I didn’t go for him very much at the very beginning. When he first came into the classroom I found him somewhat pride and arrogant ,reminded  me of the protagonist of “pride and prejudice” Mr. Darcy .

In a sudden I wish I had the wisdom as Elizabeth so that I can teach him a lesson and chance knocked the door. One class he tried to play a game, that is, anyone whom unfortunately be called should stand up and continuing talking about the topic which posed by him. It’s a little difficult for most of my fellow classmates, but when it came to me I achieved it ,and I can see his tiny surprising look. When he asked me to stop, I sat down elegantly and was a little inflated with pride.

but my opinion changed when there are more and more further communications as time goes by. He is a gentleman.