薛鉴羌

Incoherent talk 1
呓语一章

女科研员隐私日记
The journal of a female research.

我有許多秘密
I own  many secrets
第一個  便是我厭惡這個世界
The first one is I detest this world.

 

就如同咒语一般，
Just like an abracadabra
世界因此被诋毁
So the world was denigrated
由父母包装的孩子
The child who is packed by their parents
终于需要承担起撒谎的重任
have to burden their lies finally
【李连串笑声，】

a succession of laughs
我是谁？
Who am I?
我在哪里？
Where am I?
我在做什么？
What I am doing?
你不是谁.
You are not anyone.
你不在哪里。
You are not anywhere.

2004年10月19日
On October 19th 2004
这件事情过去了很久，
It has passed for a long time yet.
我感到很平静；
I feel very peaceful.
我没有和任何人说。
I didn't tell anybody.
那所造成对我的恐惧，
What made me dread
一直陪伴在我身旁，
always be around me.
但是我了解的是那种东西除了我没有人会看到，
But except me, Anyone can see what I realized.
因为那是一把只有我才能看到的剑，
Because that is a sword I can see only.
剑的目标是我独自。
The aim of the sword is myself
没有任何人可以帮助我，
No one can help me
我知道，
I know
很快它就会再来，
It will come back soon.
直刺我的剑将会再来，
Coming back towards me
我将不会再那么辛运。
I won't be lucky like before
在我的心被剑刺穿之前，
Before cutting through my heart
我要安静的睡觉，吃饭，走路，散步
I will sleep quiet, eat, walk and promenade.
做完我要做的一些事情。
Finish what I have to do.

对待事物的方式
The manner of treating things
以这种方式
like this way
就以这样的方式
just like this

我不懂乐理
I don't understand music
但终于写了一首歌
but I eventually finish a song.
我干涩的音节说
With the acerbity  syllables
“有趣，有趣”
" funny, funny"
黑暗里的寄生体，
Helminth in the dark
隐约现身
appear once in a while
它比我更加悲哀
More sorriness than me
整座墙毁了它的贞节
The rampart destoryed its chastity
将我的面容巨大地显现在上面
show my face tremendously on it
一个我死了
I dead
还有另一个
another one also
生时前仆后继
Taking place of fallen with born
死时前仆后继
Taking place of dead

第一章是自己内部的矛盾
The first charpter is internal conflict
第二章是
友情陷害的时间
The second charpter is time is framed by friendship
天空没有我的位置
I have no space in the sky
秩序整洁的世界
an orderliness world
安静整齐的过山车列车员们
quiet and regular attendants of roller coaster
青琉璃的门
Green lazuli gate
附灼追忆色的场所
the place with retrospection
惩罚的洞
disciplinal cavity
无法开启的门
a door is unable asking which open
空中的漂浮感
floats hopes in the air
别人的画
the painting of other people
寂寞的消失的画室
lone and disappered atelier
空中漂浮的烟
floating smoke in the air
破坏的宇宙
destoryed universe
新建立的封印的场所
established and seal place
心脏冻结的时间………………
the time of heart freezed

【一把只有我才能看到的剑向我刺来】

a sword that I can see only towards me

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