2010年1月26日 20：15 cold
Today i finish reading "Tuesdays with Morrie". This is a good book which means a lot and I learn a lot from it .
Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do;accept the past as past,without denying it or discarding it ;
Learn to fogive yourself and to forgive others; don't assume that it's too late to get involved.
Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing ,but you are bound tod sth else. sth hurts u,yet u know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted,even when you know you should never take anything for granted. A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band, and most of us live somewhere in the middle.
Love wins,love always wins.
The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. and u have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it .
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep. even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others ,devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating sth that gives you purpose and meaning.
THE FIRST TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT THE WORLD
The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love,and to let it come in. let it come in . we think we don't deserve love ,we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. but a wise man named levine said "love is the only rational act."
THE FORTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT DEATH
Most of us all walk around as if we're sleepwalking. we really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-asleep,doing things we automatically think we have to do.
Once you learn how to die,you learn how to live.
THE SIXTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT EMOTIONS
Morrie said: "Take any emotion-love for a wonman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions, if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them ,you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. you're afraid of the pain, u're afraid of the grief , u're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. "
"But by throwing yourself into these emotions , by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely . U know what pain is . you know what love is . U know what grief is . and only then can you say, all right . I have experienced that emothion. I recognize that emotion.Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."
I thought about how this was needed in everyday life , how we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears . but we don't let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with fear of waht those words might do to the relationship.
Morrie approach was exactly the opposite. turn on the faucet. wash yourself with the emotion. it won't hurt you , it will only help. if you let the fear inside. if you pull it on like a familiar shirt , then you can say to yourself, all right, it's just fear, i don't have to let it control me ,i see it for what it is .
Same for the loneliness: you let go ,let the tears flow, feel it completely, but eventually be able to say, all right , that was my moment with loneliness, I'm not afraid of feeling of lonely,but no I'm going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emothions in the world, and I'm going to experience them as well.
That what Morrie called "detach."
THE SEVENTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT THE FEAR OF AGING
Aging is not just decay, you know . it's growth, it's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you undertand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it .
People always say ,oh if i were young.that refects unsatisfied lives.Lives that haven't found meaning. because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back ,you want to go forward . you want to see more .do more, you can't wait until sixty-five. if you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow.
THE EIGHTH TUESDAYS THEY TALK ABOUT MONEY
If you're trying to show off for people at the top,forget it , they will look down at you anyhow. and if you 're trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it , they will only envy you . status will get u nowhere. only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.
Do the kinds of things that come from the heart . when you do , you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things . on the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back.
THE NINTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT HOW LOVE GOES ON
I believe in being fully present, that means you should be with the person you 're with. when I'm talking to you now,I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us , i'm not thinking about sth we said last week.
How important could that be fro learning to pay attention.
THE TENTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE
There are a few rules I know to be true love and marriage: if you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. if you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have alot of trouble. if you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you''re gonna hava alot of trouble. and if you don't have a common set of values in life,you're gonna have alot of trouble.your values must be alike. and the biggest one of those values is your belief in the importance of your marriage.
Love each other or perish or die.
THE ELEVENTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR CULTURE
Building your own little subculture, doesn't mean disregard every rule of your community. I don't go around naked, for example i don't run through red lights , the little things , i can obey. but the big things-how we think, what we value, those you must choose yourself. you can't let anyone or any society determine those for you .
Every society has its own problems, the way to do it , isn't to run away, you have to work at creating your own culture.
THE TWELFTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT FORGIVENESS
Forgive yourself before you die, then forgive others.
THE THIRTEENTH TUESDAY THEY TALK ABOUT THE PERFECT DAY
Death is as natural as life.it's part of the deal we made.
That's waht we're all looking for, a certain peace with the idea of dying, if we know , in the end, that we can ultimately have that peace with dying. then we can fanally do the really hard thing. make peace with living.
Everything that gets born ,dies. death ends a life,not a relationship..
Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own.
THE FINAL THINGS:
To be more open, to ignore the lure of advertised values, to pay attention when your loved ones are speaking. as if it were the last time you might hear them.
There is no such thing as "too late" in life. Morrie was changing until the day he said good-bye.
